SHE

There are times when she agitatedly searched for alternatives,

 She carried herself up, from the ruins and moved forward.

She often asked herself, endless questions and suggested naïve answers.

 The clutches of dominating power had pulled her back, restraining her movement.

She wanted to see the perfect past in the rusty mirrors.

There were times when she spoke aloud, shrieked, squealed even, till the lights had gone dim.

No soul heard her bleed.

Everything with the miasma clogged her reality.

Was there a certainty? 

Was there a punitive truth waiting to be unfolded?

 Was it really happening?

She with her last drop of conviction in herself, got up.

Her attractive countenance had camouflaged her obnoxious intentions.

Scathingly, without a thought,

 She swapped scissors on the only thing that holded her back.

SHE

Yet another day, she seemed happy.
At least that's what everyone thought.
 How pristine, this girl was.
Everyone knew everything about her.
And she was still oblivious to herself.


Other’s said “beauty didn’t have a voice”.
But men wanted her, a voiceless pretty creature.
They had pried on her, till she was fallen
and wished till she was beseeched.
created ruckus till she had heard.

She had to put an end to the the 26 year old misery.
A decade back, she saw lustful eyes unbuttoning her sanity.
 and watched herself shiver in the shadow of moonlight.
gathering the only dignity left on the streets, she tried to move on.



Harrowing Monologue of nightmares kissed her night.
Since then she has been wandering stripped in the forest of thoughts; & has been entangled in those vines, .
She hasn't woken yet. She hasn’t spoken yet.
Night has always been a chaotic Din since then.
 The voice in her head are still very loud .
waiting to come out
just once,
maybe a last time.

Sometimes.

Sometimes, she looks at the mirror, and stares for too long,
Sips hot tea, and burns her tongue,
Giggles and goes abruptly,
Postpones and moves on.
Smokes and stays cold.

Sometimes, she wishes and regrets.
Makes friends and forgets,
Watches movies and lives a life,
Breathes oomph into a dull moment and doesn't hum a word for the rest of a day.
Motivates and sits down to bury herself,
Lives and dies at the same time.

Sometimes, she just wants the void too fill, Somehow, Someday.
Just sometimes, she wants to Smile and mean it.
Just sometimes, she wishes, she didn’t have to say ‘Sometimes’ ever again.

THOUGHTS

THOUGHTS.....

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Sitting near my window,

Staring far away,

As far as my eyes could reach,

Warm breeze hits my face,

Waking me up from a long lost world, of deep thoughts.

A thought that maneuvers me and my mind,

A thought, which only generates questions and has no answers.

Leaving me restless...

Still staring far away, the loud blow of the (horn) of the car, leaves me disrupted.

I forget at times,

These thoughts are just silly games, playing with my fragile mind. Controlling (blocking) my inner happiness,

Breaking myself from "ME".

I wish, I wouldn’t think so much,

Wish, they dint affect me till this limit, where consciousness doesn’t come to me, till someone wakes me up.

Life would have been easy, and carefree without them.

I know they are unnecessary,

And wouldn’t help or lead me to a specific answer.

But here, can’t help myself,

Thinking about things far away.

Thinking about something deep...

About, the pain that can’t be seen,

About the bruises that cannot be healed...

THOUGHTS STILL MANOUVERS MY MIND....

LEAVING ME NUMB AT TIMES